As the ashy negro sitting next to me sobbed to Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love Of All”, I questioned every life choice I had made up until that moment. Mainly, my choices that led me to the passenger seat of his musty 4-door sedan. Back in February 2012, after a rough break-up, my best friend bought…
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Plies keeps it BEYOND 100 in his song, “F*cking Or What?” , where he explicitly asks his date whether or not they’re having sex. While Plies is notorious for being brutally honest, this song in particular takes the cake. When I heard verse two where he states: “I ain’t tryna waste your time baby, I just ain’t with the…
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“Do you have any pets that I should know of??” This was LITERALLY the FIRST question I asked before even considering driving to his house. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my aversion to large animals—big ass dogs in particular. Well, back in the great year of 2008, a straight friend of mine…
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“I think I might have Chlamydia.”- Said NO ONE after a night of dry humping. My lazy ass sex-ed teachers always stressed that the safest way to have sex was by abstaining from it altogether. But then one day, I discovered the magic of dry humping. What is dry humping, you ask? Aside from being…
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Once upon a time… While I was living in Chicago, a co-worker of mine discovered that I was newly single and came up with a grand idea: “I’ll hook you up with my girlfriend’s gay best friend! You’d be perfect together!” —YEAH. Find one gay man who hasn’t heard that line from a hetero with good…
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