Entry 2: The #IrmaDiaries with Mr. Black:
In an attempt to maintain my sanity, I present to you….the #IrmaDiaries
Today is September 11th 2017. Yeah I know, a shitty date indeed. I would like to take a pause from my first world bitching to acknowledge those lost in the World Trade Centers so many years ago. You will never be forgotten.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…It’s currently 8:15am and I am just waking up to the sound of light rain and wind. We are officially going on 12 hours without power. Exciting right? I can hear my family talking loudly outside in the living room already. My much older sister who never stops talking, worrying, or inserting herself into someone’s business just showed up. Yes, during a mandatory countywide order to remain off the road, the Wendy Williams of Clearwater just had to drive over and “check-in”. I mean, the fact that she lives on the street behind my parents and can visibly see that the house is fine wasn’t enough. Our very own unlicensed FEMA official just had to show up to survey the premises—and my nerves.
See, I’ve been staying with my parents during this hurricane scare to help them prepare. I’ve also saved them from about 4 accidental death incidents—and counting. From stopping the dog walk of death to my mom’s maxi dress almost catching on fire when she backed up into a lit candle; needless to say I’m exhausted. My current anxiety levels are higher than my chances of getting a Kardashian pregnant during black history month.
I truly love Miami and have made some amazing friends there. Many of which I just sacrificed 4% of my battery life to curse out for posting amazing photos of themselves OUTSIDE of Florida as I sit in the dark. I mean they aren’t doing anything wrong but I threw the shade anyway. It made me feel better. What’s more American than finding personal happiness through shaming others?
Anyways, I’ve lost 5% of my laptops battery life typing this shady ass entry; but it was totally worth it. Now to figure out a way to slide into the common areas of the house to find food without having to speak to anyone.