Most people know what those nights are like… None of your sext buddies are awake, not a soul has responded to your thirsty semi-nudes on SnapChat and your Tinder mutual likes are non-existent.

These are the nights when you accidentally swallow a bottle of moscato and end up mass texting ALL the wrong people. The next morning you wake up and cringe as you open your outbox. Peeking with one eye open you slowly scroll through the texts you sent…a text to your sister…safe…a funny meme sent to your homegirl…so safe…a sext to your old booty call…cool…but then ‘WHOOP there it is’image

…the text to someone you had NO business contacting. I know first-hand how crunchy you feel at this point. The humiliation is multiplied when you see that the person didn’t even bother responding to your thirst request. So now, you’re not only hungover but sexually frustrated too. Oh, and not to mention the new abandonment issues you have from your entire thirst team going M.I.A. on you in your time of need.
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So how do you avoid this tragedy? The key is in finding other ways to amuse yourself when you feel the urge to go hunch hunting…


Here are 25 Things to Do When You Can’t Find A Hook-up:

1. Go to sleep. Going to sleep is to text regret what abstinence is to pregnancy. Sometimes it’s best to just sleep it off and wake up refreshed the next day. This is literally the safest bet.
2. Catch up with an old friend. A PLATONIC old friend.
3. Learn a new hobby or skill on Youtube.
4. Start a new series and fall into a Netflix/ Hulu binge watch coma.
5. Go to the gym (if it’s open). Lord knows who you might meet there.
6. Update your resume/ LinkedIn profile.
7. Re-organize your closet.
8. Create a MeetUp.com account, where you can make new friends in your city with similar interests—other than sex.
9. Plan your next vacation/ “me” day on Groupon.
10. Create a new Amazon.com wish-list!
11. Make a new Pinterest board.
12. Bake something that you found on Pinterest!
13. Cook a new dish or meal prep for the week.
14. Download a new audio book or podcast series.
15. Pamper yourself with a beauty night. Break out the face masks and cucumbers—-sliced cucumbers only please.
16. Read a book (crazy concept I know).
17. Learn a new language. Believe it or not, there are Spotify stations dedicated to teaching new languages!
18. Revamp/ remix/ downsize your wardrobe.
19. Make a new Spotify playlist.
20. Get a night job.
21. Research the industry you work in; get a step ahead of your colleagues.
22. Online shop…trust me, it heals all.
23. Start a Youtube channel.
24. Take a joy ride. Roll down the windows, crank up some jams, and drive anywhere but your ex’s house.
25. And lastly, try to figure out a way to be truly happy all by yourself….

BUT if that doesn’t work…

Find a chill, local, night spot with a staff you trust and fun regulars. You never know which handsome stranger might wander in. Keep your eye on your drink and make sure it’s within walking/Uber distance, cause I’d rather wake up next to a cheating ex than a cell mate.

Read more: http://www.balleralert.com/#ixzz4BvRDWAwn

 

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Posted by:Anthony Black

2 replies on “25 Things To Do When You Can’t Find A Booty Call

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