If your answer is yes; you are not alone.
The next question is, Does the ‘less than a boyfriend but more than a booty call’ relationship dynamic actually exist??
Before diving into the layered answer to that question, I’d like to acknowledge the fact that us single folks have survived Christmas, New Year’s, & Valentine’s Day! However, after patting myself on the back for surviving “cuffing season”, I’m now realizing that spring is an even more confusing time of year to be single.
Allow me to explain…
I’ll start with the pros of being single in Spring:
At this time of year you’ll begin to notice a shift in power; the shift goes from the picturesque couples under the mistletoe to that of the unshackled single folks. As it warms up outside, genitals begin to defrost, and society’s attitude towards being single begins it’s transition. It’s been reported that the largest number of break-ups occur in October/November—also known as “the turkey drop”(pre-cuffing season) and in March, right around the spring equinox; which also coincides with spring break.
Now the cons of being single in Spring:
Having talked to other single friends of mine, everyone seems to be in the same strange place between winter’s desires of being curled up in a comforter with our soulmate and summer’s half naked, hoeish freedom.
So where do we turn when we crave intimate contact that lasts longer than an orgasm but less than the length of a Lord of the Rings sequel?
The answer seems to be inconclusive. Better yet, is it even possible to have a consistent FWB (Friends With Benefits) situation where neither party catches the feels or requests a title? I’m nervous that the answer might be, no.
So what’s a realistic solution?
Well the best answer seems to be: aim for friendship but remain open to what may come of that; even if it involves catching feelings. Listen, we’re humans and falling in love isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Ensuring that the situation benefits you both, is honest, fun, and healthy are the keys to success. Just be upfront about your intentions and feelings as they develop and the rest will fall into place.
How do you let your “boo” know that you want to take the casual approach as opposed to the traditional (and played-out) LTR focused route?
I guess the answer would be to tell them just that or simply show them. One thing I’ve noticed is that establishing a friendship with someone first will really dictate where you want to take the relationship. All of my prior relationships that began on formal “dates” seemed to fly past the friendship phase and directly into a place of forced, complicated, blinding romance. Establishing a friendship first allows you really evaluate whether or not you would even be friends with someone before making them your partner. Just make sure your boo knows that even though you want to be friend’s first, you’re not dumping them in the platonic pit of the “friend zone”.
How am I dealing with my own romantic purgatory you ask?
I’m actually doing nothing about it at all. While I’m excited about the idea of falling in love again someday—I refuse to rush it, seek it, or force it. I’m a strong believer in fate. I also believe that if you stay true to yourself and do the things that make you happy, the right person will be placed directly in your path. From that point the relationship will evolve or collapse naturally—with or without your planning/understanding of it’s timing or process.
So, until love knocks at our door again, it seems that we must continue the confusing, enlightening, and wild ride of living single.