down-low-brothers-thumbWhether it’s Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, or the throwback favorite, Adam 4 Adam, if you’re a sexually active gay male between the age of 17 and 57, there’s a high chance that you have/had an account on one of these sites.

Personally, I was late to this craze having spent my early twenties in monogamous relationships. Now in my late twenties, I’ve finally learned the ropes of the messy obstacle course that is the ‘gay dating app scene’.

Here are 20 awkward yet informative lessons I’ve learned during my most recent social experiment using gay dating apps:

20. These men are the most resilient creatures on Earth. Apparently no response is the equivalent to a soft “Yes, I’m interested.”

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19. Guys can determine whether or not you’re a top or bottom simply by looking at the facial expressions in your selfies.

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18. Other people’s boyfriends/husbands will try to holler at you on the low;  especially if your face isn’t in in your profile photo.

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17. Men who ignore you at bars will send you non-stop, thirsty Grindr messages but continue to ignore you in public.

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16. When a guys asks, “How was your day?” what he really means is, “Are we having sex today or nah?”


15. The people who send out sex party invitations are actually very polite.

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14. Professional contacts might send you naked photos and requests for sex; not recognizing you in your “out of the office” attire.


13. Men think that “little man” is a term of endearment.

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12. Guys can now share their exact geographic location before learning your name.

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11. Creepy looking men will always say creepy shit.

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10. Almost everyone is lying about their age.


9. ‘Games of Thrones’ inspired chivalry is not dead.

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8. Never get excited by the hot guys you see in the “global” or “recent user” sections. Your heart & erection will be crushed when you realize that they are all located 2-4 THOUSAND miles away.


7. Men who’s profiles say, “just here to make new friends” or “not here for anything physical” or “just here to chat” are the first ones to proposition you for sex.

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6. Men will offer you money for sex…but shy away when they feel like your price is too high.

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5. Men will also, very bluntly, request money for sex.

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4. Men will casually ask you to partake in money laundering schemes with them.

 


3. Guys you meet on Grindr will ask you to be their date to their company Holiday Party and explain how they deleted their Grindr account for you….You will later find that they just blocked you so that you wouldn’t see their hoetry in motion.


2. Men don’t hold any punches when it comes to opening lines. If there’s one place in “Gay World” that actually isn’t passive aggressive, it’s your Grindr inbox.

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  1. Once you have two ex-boyfriends, one you met on Jackd and another from Grindr, the universe is trying to tell you that you’re using these apps incorrectly.

 

Listen, the savage land of gay hook-up apps is a very dangerous place for the hopeless romantic.  While these apps aren’t for the faint of heart, I can guarantee that nearly all of your single (and taken) gay friends use them. Whether you log on to find sex, or watch too much Law and Order: SVU,  to comfortably meet up with randoms, at minimum, these apps will provide you with endless entertainment.

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Posted by:Anthony Black

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